Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are such an ...

After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in an effort to ...

In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who ...

There was a rush to the local MCC this week to get used copies of the latest Taylor Swift album, after it was discovered that Abbotsford fans got a shout out on the title track. “Hey, Mrs.

Mr. Abe Klassen of Rosthern has just been awarded the top prize for the most delicious, most noble peas in the world. “Just look at those green plump peas, slathered in butter,” said judge Bjorn ...

Area man Timothy Reimer, 69, has emerged from a hip replacement surgery as the hippest man in all of Reinland. “I no longer listen to gospel quartets. From now on it’s all Kendrick Lamar for me,” said ...

In the wake of Jimmy Kimmel’s recent cancellation, we’ve consulted a team of comedians and humourists from across the United States to make a list of completely safe jokes that won’t get you cancelled ...

In the new reboot of the Jurassic Park franchise, producers have decided to set the movie in Morden and include the most intimidating villain of all time, a group of zealous fundamenalists trying to ...

In a shocking turn of events in the seeming never-ending Epstein saga, the complete uncensored Epstein files were found in the “Something Special” display case at a local second hand shop. “They ...

Area woman Carolyn Enns, 71, was sick and tired of all the wrath and judgement she received for attending a movie on occasion that she decided it was time she attended a film instead. “I can’t even ...

In a press conference held his afternoon in an Iowa cornfield, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced he had lifted the ban on several players including Shoeless Joe Jackson, all in a desperate ...

David Yoder was excited to return to the land of his ancestors this week for the Anabaptism 500-year anniversary, but as soon as he arrived, he got the sneaking suspicion that things must have changed ...